Zergadin Datacron Chronicles: Spacer’s Need Space P2


Note: This Datacron was recovered by Zergadin Mattman Starbanger

In Jache’s personal chamber aboard the Black Talon a rhythm augmentation droid played slurry cantina music. Low smoke hovered around a circular table surrounded by several Zergadins.

Jache was hosting the gathering, along with the young and ambitious Buhrn Silverstrike. The duo of Mattmantula and Chupakatbrah, or ‘Chula and the Chupe’ as they were collectively referred to, were also in attendance. The fifth and final member of the party was the infamous Nephalem Quintanilla Perez.

She pushed a few empty bottles out of the way so she could roll her die. “Come on. Big money, big money” she said as she threw the hundred sided die. “72!”

Upon seeing the roll and realizing he’d been beaten Chupakatbrah rolled his eyes and turned away saying, “Oh well, I don’t really need the piece of shit anyway.”

“Well what what in the hell did you roll for then?” Questioned Jache with deliberate mockery in his voice meant to taunt the assassin. The game they were playing had lasted for many hours and the tension was getting thick as the time got late.

“You know what? I’m not gonna play anymore, I know half of you nubs are cheating anyway.” Responded Chupakatbrah as he stood up and using the Force he faded away, disappearing into the darkness.

“Alright Mantula let’s see what you’ve got” said Nephalem, oozing with confidence.

“Ok, here goes.” Mattmantula held the die close to his chest and gave it a good shaking for luck. “Boom, 73!”

He jumped out of his seat spilling his drink on the table and threw his hands in the air. He was lucky to beat such a high roll and to do it by one made the success even sweeter. “Raaah, Rahhh, and the crowd goes wild” he sang to himself.

As he celebrated Buhrn began to reach toward a small probe hovering beside him and tweak an adjustable dial. Mattmantula very quickly pulled his snub-nose blaster and put a bolt into the probe. The probe made a whirring sound as it buzzed toward the floor. Before it touched down Buhrn pulled out an over-sized revolving blaster and trained it directly on Mattmantula’s head. Jache, who had begun to laugh at the buzzing probe, quickly gulped the chuckle away and began to slowly back away.

“Don’t you go anywhere Jache” commanded Buhrn, I think the Mantula is about to need some of your protection Powers.

“Guys, guys, lets just settle down and finish this round, it really not a big deal” pleaded Nephalem.

“Your call Hunter, do you really want to dance?” Challenged Mattmantula who was obviously at a disadvantage since his blaster was still pointed at the probe while the imposing gun wielded by Buhrn was in a much more threatening position.

Just then Chupakatbrah exited his Force fade stealth and appeared sitting back down in his original seat. The sudden appearance drew Buhrn’s gaze away only a moment, but it was enough for Mattmantula to swiftly pull an offhand blaster and point it at Buhrn. This heightened the stakes and grew the intensity of the standoff situation.

Suddenly the door slid open and light flooded the shadowy room. All five participates of the dice game squinted painfully and shielded their eyes from the sudden light source. There stood General Panzer Dawnstar in the brightest and finest newly crafted golden armor.

“What in the hell is going on in here!” Yelled the general as be began to waft the thick smoke from the room. “Put those little pee shooters away you two and get back to work. Do you knuckleheads realize we have several new recruits that need trained, geared, and… What in the black hole is that thing on the table? The general demands to know what is going on in here.”

On the table sat a small pornographic holorecording of two twileks and a kowakian monkey lizard.

Mattman quickly snatched up the item and started claiming “it’s mine I won the roll for it fair and square.”

“That’s rancor droppings Matt, I haven’t even got to roll because you shot my low orbit observation probe!” Argued Buhrn.

“Ha! so you were using it to cheat you no good son of a Hutt” accused Mattmantula.

” I never said anything about cheating, how am I suppose to roll with you over here blasting every damn robot you see!?” Buhrn exclaimed
“Oh every damn bot huh? Like this thing playing music over here.” Pew! He blasted the rhythm augmentation droid.

“Or this little guy” Pew! Pew! Blaster bolts ripped up the worn out automated drink server droid.

“I suppose this things a robot too” Pew! Pew! Pew! Mattmantula began to fire his blaster at random things in every direction as he clutched his prize with the other hand and stumbled drunkly around the room.

Then a bolt ricocheted off a piece of durasteel and struck Panzer’s golden chest piece, leaving a small but obvious imperfection. The general looked down at this mark, then looked up at Mattmantula, who was still stumbling around and ranting on about nothing anymore.

“A-TEN-TION” Panzer screamed in his best drill sergeant voice. This command was enough to make Matt drop his blaster but not the holo and stand up straight to face the General. He noticed the bit of smoke drifting away from the mark on the General’s new armor and gulped as he began to anticipate with fear the General’s next move.

Panzer calmly reached out his hand and plucked the prized holo away. Then he dropped it on the ground and proceeded to smash it with his shiny golden boot. Jache was in the corner laughing hysterically at the situation, Nephalem and Chupakatbrah had sunk into there seats trying to be as small and unnoticeable as possible, while Mattmantula began to mope and mourn the loss of his prize.

Buhrn was the first to break the uneasy silence. “G-general I… I uh just want to say that I was trying to, I was not trying, I was, I just was about to tell these guys we need to…” His stuttering was interrupted by the general.

“If I ever catch any of you down here again. It’s gonna be medical officers duty for the lot of you. Am I understood?”

“Yes” they all responded with almost perfect synchronicity that was only imperfect because Jache was trying not to laugh.

“Yes….?” Panzer baited his word waiting for the correct response.

“Yes sir” they all obediently replied, save for Jache who could only manage a “pfffft” as he tried to choke back his laughter.

The general then stated, “That’s good, now you all should be aware that it is nearing time for the annual zergadins gift exchange. I want you all to be in charge of seeing that there are plenty of snacks and drinks to satisfy everyone. Get to it chop chop, and don’t let me find any of you gambling, drinking, or smoking aboard this ship again. Oh and Mattmantula, I expect you to compensate me directly for the damage done to my sweet new armor. That is all” he turned away and closed the door.

The Zergadins quickly started to poor fresh drinks, light back up their cigars, and place credits on the table again as they started to argue over who’s turn it was to roll.

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