The Shattering is a book written by Chistie Golden, who also wrote countless other books for WoW, one of which being the Arthas novel that won Best Seller on the New York Times. It covers the events leading up to the Cataclysm right after Wrath.

In this weeks installment, I will be going over just what has happened, specifically, and will be shifting back to the theme of humor that was lacking in last weeks installment.

First off, my opinion of the book. And I’ll keep it short:

While it was very well written and interesting, it merely specified what we already knew. I had hoped it would go into more detail the actions, reasons and character developed in many of the characters but, sadly, most of it was specifying things already covered on the WoW site and Cata quest lines.

On to the story though!

The first thing I am pleased to report is that we now know where Saurfang is!

After the events of Wrath, with the undead being brought down in activity thanks to Bolvar, Saurfang has been given the task of… steward…ghost watch if you will.

He will stay at Warsong Hold in Borean Tundra and make sure everything stays somewhat peaceful in Northrend. Other than that, the way they describe Northrend now… makes it sound empty…like a ghost town. Take one look at Dalaran these days and you’ll get the idea of what kind of image the book paints.

The first part of the book does a great job of showing us the true character of Cairne AND Garrosh. Cairne is wise, loving and righteous. Garrosh is a hot-head, but a great and fierce warrior, who is loved and respected by his men. One notable thing Cairne mentions is that Garrosh is loved mostly because he does not feel he is above any task, and regularly takes on the same tasks as Grunts alongside them. Cairne respects Garrosh because of this, but feels he is best used on a leash and not given too much control.

The major story at work for the Horde is this: Thrall is all, “OMG TOWNS ON FIRE” and tries to talk to the Spirit of Fire. Most of it listens to him and goes away, but one spirit is like, “LOL NOPE, I LIKE TO BURN THINGS” and starts to try to spread, so Thall’s like, “Challenge Accepted.” and uses his Shaman Jesus powers to extinguish the flame. He’s wierded out, and decides he should probably head to Nagrand to check with his Shaman grandma in Outland.

So then he’s trying to figure out who would make a good warchief in his stead.

Cairne is a good choice, but Cairne leads the Tauren. Vol’jin is busy taking back the Echo Isles from level 12 Trolls, so thats no good either. Sylvannas is not even a question, and to this day no one even knows who the Blood Elf leader is, or what purpose he serves. Saurfang, probably his first choice, is busy in Northrend, and due to the death of his son, is in no shape to lead the Horde.

And that’s when he that moment. That one time when you realize your only option is the worst possible option, and yet the right option. “UGH FINE GARROSH CAN BE WARCHIEF” which is where Garrosh surprises everyone.

“Ummm…are you sure? Politics…ugh, no thanks man. Stick me in the battlefield…not in a room with nobles and politicians.” Thrall insists, and Garrosh is like, “WELL OK.” As an act of precaution, Thrall instructs Cairne and Eitrigg to be advisors to Garrosh as they had been to Thrall. Garrosh says, “cool thx bro” and Thrall leaves. Cairne throws a fit, and is all “YOU PUT A WARMONGERING DELUSIONAL HELLSCREAM (oxymoron) ON THE THRONE?? WTF DUDE??” Thrall tells him to chill, and that its the right thing, Cairne continues to bitch, and Thralls like, “PSH, WELL. THATS LIKE, MY OPINION AS WARCHIEF. MAN.” and storms off.

Meanwhile, some night elves get attacked in the woods, Horde is blamed, then Tauren meet for peace talks with Night Elves, get ambushed by orcs, and they find out… or rather the reader finds out, that its the Twilight’s Hammer, (as I suspected). Cairne gets pissed and challenges Garrosh to Mak’gorah (honor duel) thinking Garrosh is responsible. Garrosh is all, “Ummm…what? didn’t really even know there was a meeting between you and the-” Cairne interupts him and calls him a pussy, (basically), and so Garrosh tells him they’ll do Mak’gorah, but in the old Orc way: to the death.

One thing leads to another and Magatha Grimtotem poisons Gorehowl, so Garrosh gives Cairne a papercut across the chest and Cairne dies. Garrosh finds out later and is super pissed and hopes Magatha dies painfully and slowly, sends her a letter saying that, total lol-oh-snap moment. Grimtotems take over Thunderbluff, Baine Cairne’s son, escapes and talks to Jaina for help, she and the Goblins do, they kill Grimtotem and take back TB.

Thrall goes to Outland, trains and meets his girlfriend there. They have adorable romantic orc comedy romance. Probably brown orc babies soon to come (Blizzard Dev confirmed) etc etc. Thrall learns from the elements there and becomes a real legit shaman because he goes on a vision quest. (LSD, Peyote etc)

Comes back home to the mess, and is like, “ugh…shit.” and then is like, “WELP I BETTER GO THE CENTER OF THE OCEAN TO FIX THIS SHIT.” and leaves with his woman-lady-orc friend.

This is the Horde side of things, in a nutshell. Stay tuned for Alliance side which will be shorter, and at the very least, almost as interesting.