Chronicler’s Note:  The Datacron has been recorded by Mattman Starbanger

“Spacer’s need space” (part 1)

Too much Spiced Nerf Milk.

Buhrn awoke in a poorly lit room in a cantina somewhere on Drummond kaas. There was a pounding in his head that he attributed to the plethora of spiced nerf milk he partook of the previous night. As soon as he got his bearings about him an overwhelming urge to vomit immediately hit. He scrambled for the bathroom but when he flung open the door he was met by an orokeet squawking and flapping its colorful wings.

“What the..?” His thought was quickly interrupted as a young taunlet ran out from behind the fowl and through Buhrn’s legs, barely missing the stream of vomit that spewed from his mouth.

“Hey big boy you better come back to bed” A sweet but slightly raspy voice beckoned from behind. Buhrn realized that the owner of this voice was a complete mystery to him.

“What are all these damn companions doing in my Ops!” – Buhrn

“Ok, um just a minute” he replied as he strafed passed the orokeet into the bathroom. He kicked the bird out of his fragile privacy and into the room as he slammed the door behind him.

“By the stars, it must have been one hell of a night” he thought to himself as he contemplated what to do next. That voice did sound inviting, but he knew that sounds can be deceiving and he decided to crack the door to get a better look at what was occupying his bed. He peeked trough the small opening to see a slender female form sitting up in the bed.

“You dog,” he said to himself “still got some game.” Buhrn turned to the sink to splash some water on the back of his neck and try to overcome the headache which was nearly crippling him.

“Buhrn, you’re thingy is beeping at me” the girl in the room called out to the gun for hire as she began jumping up and down naked on the bed. Buhrn scrambled for his holocommunicator. His new friend didn’t make it easy to answer the call, as she was now playing keep away with the device. Finally, using a technique he calls “the shocker”, Buhrn was able to wrestle the device away from her. He pushed a button and out popped an image of the famous galactic hero General Panzer Dawnstar.

Every Zergadin receives training concerning “The Shocker”

“Hey kid, gear up and get your ass to the imperial fleet. We have a new assignment. Apparently those piece of shit dread masters have opened up some kind of portal somewhere. I intend to drive my gold plated battle tank right up that portals rear end. End transmission. Hey new guy, I said end tran..!” The communication cut off.

Buhrn checked the time stamp on the message and realized he had received it later than intended. He wrapped himself in a piece of wompa skin bedding and made a bee line for the spaceport. Sliding in an earpiece he began to give orders to his crew to prep his ship and prepare for his departure.

“Oh and make sure someone sends a servant droid to my room to make sure my lovely lady friend stays comfortable.” Was his last order as he hopped into a taxi to take him to the spaceport.