STWG: The Man Code…man.


 

GREETINGS SIMPLETONS!

 

IT IS I, DR. GROKK JAMES SMASH! I HAVE STOLEN FORUM POST FROM JARED IN ORDER TO PROPERLY CONV…CUNVE…I TELL YOU IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!

 

Today we talk about THE MAN CODE.

 

People think, “Oh Grokk, I know what man code is… I’ve had a penis and testicles for a while now.”

WRONG, PUNY MAN!

 

YOU NOT KNOW NOTHING BOUT MAN CODE.

 

Man code is simple, yet refined; elegant, yet brutish.

 

Rule #1. Always maintain proper urinal spacing.

 

ALWAYS BE ONE URINAL APART!

WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE? THE BATHROOM PEEPER? GIVE FELLOW MAN SOME SPACE!

 

YOU KNOW SPLASH ZONE AT SEA WORLD? SAME CONCEPT, FRIEND.

 

Rule #2.When in the locker rooms, never stare directly at another man’s junk.

No picture needed for this one. It’s just simply not ok guys. If you want to compare swords, do a sweeping glance of the room to assess the competition. If you stare, it is very very gay.

 

Rule #3. If you become aware that a fellow man is attempting to make a move on an attractive female, take a dive for him.

It is perfectly acceptable and encouraged that when you can tell a man has dibs’d a female to do things that make him seem all the more appealing than you. Options include but not limited to:

Farting.

Burping.

Being very stupid.

Talking loudly about disgustingly chauvinistic things.

 

-WARNING- IF YOU ALSO WANT FEMALE, AND OTHER MAN NOT STAKE CLAIM, THEN YOU FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR HONOR OF BEING INEVITABLY REJECTED BY THE FEMALE!

 

Rule #4. If you are challenged by another man to a competition, and you decline, AND THEN PUNY MAN SAY, “WHAT ARE YOU? A LITTLE BABY??” THEN YOU MUST ACCEPT MANS CHALLENGE AND BEAT HIS TINY FACE TO PULP!!!HAHAHAHA!!! IS FUN!! YOU CRUSH HIM INTO TINY PIECES! THEN YOU SEE WHO TINY BABY IS!!

 

Rule #5. Smell test is perfectly acceptable method of determining whether or not clothes you found on floor is ok to wear.

 

Rule #6. If thing is not working, alert every in area that you are going to fix it with science/skills/engineering.

 

IT IMPORTANT TO LET EVERYONE KNOW YOU ARE ABOUT TO DO THE FIXING. IF IT NOT FIX WHEN YOU TRY, HIT IT LOTS. IF HITTING NOT FIX, SWITCH TO SMASHING. IF UNSURE ABOUT SMASHING, CONSULT DOCTOR GROKK’S GUIDE TO SMASHING. BE SAFE, SMASH SMART.

 

AND THAT IS RULES FOR YOU, TINY BABY MEN. NOW YOU BECOME MANLY MAN LIKEGROKK,MAN.

 

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.